FOX News Channel’s The Ingraham Angle Town Hall: Red State Trailblazers which aired live last night, Thursday, April 29th at 10PM/ET. Moderated by host Laura Ingraham, the town hall featured a panel of Republican governors, including Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Texas Governor Greg Abbott, Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds, Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves and Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts. The forum also featured questions from a live audience. The event took place in Orlando, FL.
This month Gov. Kim Reynolds announced that she would spend some federal pandemic relief funds on a marketing campaign aimed at persuading people to move here.
The campaign will tout all the “beautiful things” happening in the state. And it’s not at all questionable that the federally funded campaign will come just as Reynolds seeks reelection. Nope.
As is her custom, Reynolds borrowed the idea from another red state governor. South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem announced last year she would use $5 million from her state’s relief funds on a tourism ad campaign. These red state trailblazers are full of good ideas.
Governor Kristi Noem of South Dakota attends a meeting hosted by United States President Donald Trump with governors-elect at the White House on Dec. 12, 2018. South Dakota rolled out an anti-meth awareness campaign Monday with the tagline 'Meth. We're On It.' (Chris Kleponis/Pool/Sipa USA/TNS)
'Meth. We're on it.' Logo from State of South Dakota's ad campaign (From onmeth.com)
I’m so supportive of Reynolds’ effort, I’m submitting a couple of ideas for selling the state. The first, fittingly, is an anthem that borrows a previous South Dakota tourism pitch centered on the slogan “Come Feel Free Again.” Which beats “Meth. We’re on it.”
The second capitalizes on our famous reputation for being “Iowa Nice.”
Enjoy, or not. Probably not.
“Come Feel Free Again”
Feel free again
In red state Iowa!
We get piles of snow
But our taxes are low.
We are plain spoken
With no elitist jargon.
And our schoolteachers
Can’t collectively bargain.
Feel free again
In red state Iowa!
Our budget surplus
Is as big as the sky!
We socked bucks away
For a rainy day.
But we can’t explain
Why it never rains.
Feel Free again
In red state Iowa!
Follow your dreams
To our rivers and streams.
Bring your best Kayak
And a picnic you packed.
Is the water clean?
We’d rather you not ask.
Feel free again
In red state Iowa!
Enjoy Iowa’s splendor
Unless you’re transgender.
Our folks are bright
And always very cheery!
Unless you want to teach
Critical race theory.
Feel free again
In red state Iowa!
We beat the COVID
We kept the state wide-open.
We scoffed at masks
And public health advice.
We favored freedom
And lost 6,000 lives.
Feel fee again
In red state Iowa!
Jobs are plentiful
If we find you acceptable.
Come here to live.
You’ll be glad you did.
Unless you are
A brown-skinned refugee kid.
“Iowa Nice”
Dramatic music builds. A camera pans across a sun-kissed field of corn, followed by footage of a small town parade, a country road, police pepper-spraying protesters and journalists and an anti-mask demonstration at the Statehouse.
A gravel-voiced narrator begins.
“In Iowa, we live by a code. We call it Iowa Nice.
“What does it mean?
“It means neighbors helping neighbors in times of crisis.” It means buying the first round of beer after a hard week’s work.
“It means sharing the last cup of ranch, or bringing a fresh-baked pie to coffee, and keeping your mouth shut when talk turns to politics.
“It means kids running through a sprinkler, ice cream on a little boy’s nose and wriggling puppies licking a child’s face in a pile of fall leaves. A bountiful farmers market. A boisterous Trump rally. A beautiful beach closed due to algae contamination. People filling sandbags to hold off yet another flood.
“It means sacrificing together to build a massive budget surplus, even if that means the teacher down the street has to buy her own supplies, or friends in need of mental health care for a family member have to remain on a waiting list. These are small prices to pay to give the prosperous folks living in those big houses up the hill another tax cut. It’s the least we can do.
“Coming together. Not making waves. That’s Iowa Nice.
“But Iowans also know what isn’t Iowa Nice.
“Making white people uncomfortable by talking about the slavery and racism that have pervaded American culture and institutions throughout our history isn’t nice. We know problems will go away if we just smile and ignore them a little longer.
“Demanding higher wages, good benefits and better working conditions is not Iowa nice. You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.
“It’s not nice to draw unemployment benefits or sign up for public assistance. It’s just plain lazy. Knowing what’s best for people you don’t know is called “Tough Iowa nice.”
“It’s not nice at all to require farmers to stop polluting our waterways. In Iowa, we don’t play the blame game, even when we know who is to blame. You’re outvoted, by 23 million hogs. Corn is king.
“Don’t complain about climate change. Just fill up more sandbags.
“Making it easier to vote isn’t nice. Allowing transgender kids to play sports isn’t nice. Taking in refugees may sound super nice, but it totally isn’t.
“We’re building a state where Iowa Nice isn’t just desirable, it’s mandated by state law.
“Are you Iowa Nice? Give Iowa a try. Please. We’re begging you.”
(319) 398-8262; todd.dorman@thegazette.com
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Come feel free again in red state Iowa - The Gazette
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